Project Vegetarian

Abstract: This week, I decided to do a bit of a social/health experiment: I decided to be a vegetarian.

Introduction: Unlike most vegetarians, my motivation for doing this was not that I hate the idea of eating things that once had faces or that I don't really like meat. My mission was more health-based. I have had a very temperamental digestive system ever since I was a baby, and my body seems to go in cycles with whether or not my intestines decide to cooperate. The last two weeks or so, they decided not to cooperate.

I haven't been unreasonably stressed, so I don't think my discomfort was due to that this time. So I did some thinking, and I concluded that it must be because my body is having trouble digesting some of the things I eat. I eat a relatively balanced diet, with fruits, meat, carbs, (some) veggies - you know, things you're supposed to eat - and out of those categories, the only one which has ever triggered problems with me is meat. So I decided to cut that out of my diet this week.

There was another side to my motivation too, though. Vegetarians at my school always bitch that there's nothing good to eat here. I always thought that there were plenty of good foods, especially because the dining halls always feature at least one vegetarian or vegan dish at each meal. So I wanted to see if their bitching is warranted or not.

Methods: I avoided meat and fish for 5 days (which was especially hard when I craved sushi). I substituted alternative protein sources for meat, like tofu, beans, and cheese. I ate lots of salad.

Results: I made it the whole 5 days. I noticed an improvement in my digestive comfort, and I also noticed that there ain't shit for vegetarian food at my school.

Discussion: Project Vegetarian was a great challenge for me, but I am thrilled that my 5-day experiment period is over. I'm sorry, but vegetables suck. I have never once in my life craved a big bowl of vegetables. I only eat them because I know I'm supposed to.

I did experience noticeable improvements in my digestion, though. I had no discomfort this week at all! I didn't really increase my intake of green veggies, but I think that maybe the decrease in complex protein consumption took some of the pressure of digestion off my stomach and intestines.

I have also concluded that vegetarians are absolutely in the right when they complain about my school's food. I swear, I have never eaten so many variations of noodle-vegetable-sauce dishes in my life. Dinner got to be very monotonous. The best thing I had all week was vegetarian chili and mashed potatoes, and that was nowhere near as delicious as beefy chili. Even salad was more appealing than most of the dishes.

Conclusion: I am totally going to eat a big, fat plate of beef for dinner tonight.