Something I've learned

You know the saying "People don't change"? Well it's total bullshit. People are more than capable of changing themselves. But only if they want to.

Take me, for example. Over the winter break, I realized that I was completely miserable. I had very few friends, I hated what had been my top choice school, and I hated myself because I was fully aware that I was the sole cause of my misery. I was depressed, but I wasn't doing anything about it because I was too busy wallowing in self-pity.

So I decided: no more excuses. Things have got to change, and only I can make them.

I jumped into the new semester with both feet. I did things I never would have done before: I went through sorority recruitment, I went to parties every weekend, I even blew off schoolwork to hang out with friends. I was social for the first time in a long time. And every time I felt the anxiety and the sadness creeping up on me, I pretended like everything was fine and I was totally happy. And soon, everything was fine and I was sincerely happy.

I am much happier now, and I don't allow myself to get so self-absorbed in pity anymore. I believe I have changed a lot since December. But this is only because I wanted to and made a conscious effort to.

You can't expect people to change just because you want them to. Even if somebody loves you deeply, they will never change for you unless they see a need to change for their self. And unless you know for sure that they have seen a reason to change, it's not worth wasting your time.