Closer to God

I still cannot believe I got accepted to Smith. I prayed pretty much every night about it, and during my mental breakdown last week, I had an out-loud, verbal conversation with God pleading for Him to help me make it in.

Even if I hadn't been accepted, I know I would still believe in God and have faith that what happened was for the best. But because I was accepted, I believe that this is part of His plan for bigger (well, smaller in terms of student population) and better things for me.

It's kind of funny how I went from being an anti-religion snot-nosed punk to a faith advocate. I'm still not a fan of organized religion because I think any institution, especially the Catholic Church, has a tendency to abuse power and manipulate people for malicious intents. However, I recognize there are plenty of good Catholics out there whose reputations are marred by the select few who are intolerant, ignorant bigots. Yet I don't want to give myself a religious "title," though, for fear of being associated with said bigots.

But anyway, the whole point of me reflecting on my faith is that I hope it doesn't seem like I'm a fair-weather devotee. I do tend to pray most when I need or want something, and I realize that I don't thank God enough for all the good in my life. But isn't that how most people are? I'm just human. I love God no matter what, even if there seems to be an overwhelming amount of pain in my life (which currently, there isn't). I am positive that whatever happens to me has some sort of purpose behind it.

At the same time, I believe I have an effect on my future. But this is going to have to be a conversation I save for another day, because I have stuff to do before I go to sleep in a half hour.

/end spiritual ramblings